Removing My Invisibility Cloak

My mom died on November 3, 2015.

My life changed forever in ways I was not prepared for…..

A few months after mom’s death, an older sister contacted me. We hadn’t talked much in far too many years. We began to reconnect and the realizations started to come. As I increased my use of essential oils, the realizations became more vivid and exact…

“You have no life-long friends because who would want to spend time with you when your own mother didn’t want to spend time with you?”

“You are stuck in credential earning because at some point you’ll be important enough for your mom to want to spend time with and talk with.”

To this point, I had earned the following credentials:

  • La Leche League Leader (mother to mother breastfeeding support)
  • Certified Bradley Method Instructor
  • Certified Life Coach
  • Certified Childbirth Educator
  • Certified Birth Doula
  • Certified Postpartum Doula
  • Bachelors of Science in Natural Health Studies
  • Doctor of Natural Health
  • International Board Certified Lactation Consultant
  • Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor
  • Traditional Midwife

and felt fulfilled by none of them. Something was still missing.

I’d spent a lifetime feeling ignored, invisible, unwanted and unimportant. Forgotten.

I’d spent my growing up years mostly alone in my room singing along to the songs on the radio and writing letters to Heavenly Father in my journal despite having 5 sisters. I’d withdrawn from the world around me and would let people into my world without giving them too much of the real me.

I didn’t know who the real me was. You can’t give what you don’t know.

When I needed to confide in someone, I confided in the Lord. He has been a very big part of my life. I feel His presence in big and small ways every single day.

After mom died, I was angry. At her. At myself. At life. Never with the Lord.

Angry at her because the signs and symptoms had been there for years and she ignored them. Angry with myself because I had seen some of those signs and warned her but I hadn’t insisted, pushed, forced. Angry at life for what it had become….too busy….too rushed….too much in my head.

Emotional suicide is real. I was on the same path…stuffing the emotional garbage down. Keeping the peace. Failing to speak my mind. Staying invisible and unimportant. Hurting only myself. Caring more about everyone else.

I’d spent too many years numbing the real me through TV, poor nutrition, inactivity, chaotic home life, busy-ness and it was time. Time to connect with the person God designed me to be.

I remembered that I had signed up for a Board Certified Holistic Alternative Psychology Practitioner course. It had gone unfinished. I chose to get through it. I needed to begin with myself. The emotional garbage had to go. The entire course seemed to be simply reminding me of the things I already knew. The Lord slowing me down to remind me what He had planted within me.

By the way, you can now add that credential to my list too….Board Certified Holistic Alternative Psychology Practitioner (HAPP). Done?…

We are all empaths. We all have intuition. Some of us are heightened in one or the other. Some of us are heightened in both. I am the latter. (by the way, we can all be the latter)

As the world becomes more chaotic, my desire is to retreat deep into a mountain cave. Wanting to escape. I know I can’t. I can’t escape because now is when I have been created for. Now is when the Lord needs me to step forward into my purpose.

I am scared.

Not scared of humans and what we do not understand or believe in but scared of the many lives He will have me impact because of His purpose for me. Why?

Because I am scared to be noticed….scared to remove the invisibility cloak. Scared to be seen.

I’ve already experienced some of that visibility. I sat in my living room in 2007 and looked around at all the families I had impacted by teaching the truth about birth for barely 2 years. My house was literally full of people.

I was overwhelmed.

I stepped back when I should have stepped forward.

Scared to be noticed…..afraid of removing the invisibility cloak.

We can’t go back and change our past. What I have learned is that we can go back to our past and change the emotional patterns that have been left within us because of our past.

Oh, that I could have done this for mom!

So much is clearer today than it’s ever been.

Why so many strangers have crossed my path, shared their emotional turmoil and left feeling released from their bondage, despite the fact that I said nothing. Just listened.

Why I have always been able to listen without taking it upon myself as my own emotional turmoil to solve. I’ve come to learn that this is a gift.

My purpose on this earth is to release emotional turmoil from myself, my family, the world. It is time to ditch the emotional garbage once and for all. But how? My work as a Holistic Alternative Psychology Practitioner required positive reconditioning statements to be said for 5 minutes up to 10 times daily for 21 days. 21 consecutive days of change seems so very long when you are caught up in the midst of emotional turmoil. Instant relief is what we all want.

Instant relief…..instant release. Possible?

I didn’t know. I knew that adding essential oils was going to have an impact but I didn’t know HOW to add them. So I began to experiment. I also knew that the only book I knew of about releasing emotional patterns with essential oils was so complicated that every fiber of my being tensed whenever I even thought about the book.

I need simple. The world needs simple.

There had to be more. Where was it? Was I being asked to create it? No, “seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened to you.”

There is a brief section about emotional healing with essential oils found in the Essential Oils Desk Reference. It was a start. I added essential oils to a daily meditation my clients do. I wanted more. I needed more.

I had learned that every essential oil positively impacts us on an emotional level. There had to be more information than this.

I was led to a book that laid it all out – Emotional Healing with Essential Oils. Every essential oil and how it emotionally impacted the body. Non brand specific. It was perfect.

How to use it for releasing the emotional garbage of the past?

HELP!

Oh, another credential…..Certified Aromatherapist. Will this ever end?

Enter Dr. Benjamin Perkus and the Aroma Freedom Technique.

Through this simple technique, the world of emotional healing was opened to me. I am home. This is as simple as simple gets.

My world is changed forever. Within 3-days, emotional garbage is gone. Past reconciled. Closure. Sweet peace.

I decided to become certified in this technique….yes, I know….another credential. I had planned to use it in my holistic wellness coaching business as well as with my home birth clients. Laying low….under the radar.

The Lord had other plans.

I tried to hide…to stay invisible. Just get through class. Keep my mouth shut. Impossible.

It didn’t matter how bad I thought a session went, the person was amazed by what happened. I started to remove the invisibility cloak…..then I’d retreat to the safety I’ve known all my life. Invisible.

  • Certified Aroma Freedom Technique Practitioner
  • Certified Aroma Freedom Technique Instructor

I honestly don’t remember exactly how it happened because it happened so fast, but somehow I became Dr. Perkus’ assistant. Then he asked if I’d be the Administrator of the Aroma Freedom Academy – his online learning academy. I can still hide behind this magnificently humble man. Deep breath.

Still invisible?

NO, there is work for me to do. I can no longer be invisible. I feel the Lord’s hand on my back daily gently pushing me forward and more into view.

Lord, what will you have me do?

I’ve longed to give women the sure knowledge that they are designed for birth. That birth is designed to be safe. It starts at safe. That their pregnancy and birth will set the foundation for motherhood. That women are strong BECAUSE they are designed for birth.

Birth is being blamed when women are left broken and trying to tend to the needs of the new little person in their life. This has to stop. The man-made baby delivery system is what is breaking women, not birth. The man-made baby delivery system disconnects women from their God-given intuition. Leaving them second guessing themselves as they do the most important work anyone on the planet will ever do….raise a human to adulthood.

How in the world is a woman supposed to transition a child into a whole, and stable adult when she herself is broken? The Aroma Freedom Technique is the answer. It allows for mom to have a tool for releasing the emotional garbage from a lifetime so she can be whole for her child, her family, herself.

It’s also a tool she can use with her children to help them release the emotional garbage and learn what it really means to be emotionally stable….emotionally free.

The Aroma Freedom Technique ripped the invisibility cloak off gently and quickly if that makes sense. I hadn’t realized how long I’d been faking my laughter. How much I’d longed to cry the tears of deep hurt and pain. Sweet release and peace and joy and oh how much I love the world around even more now that the emotional garbage is being sifted through.

My specialties are:

  • releasing emotional garbage left behind by giving birth,
  • repairing the relationship with food and self, and
  • discovering who Heavenly Father designed you to be

Let’s remove YOUR invisibility cloak so you SHINE too!